make art or die

Thursday, October 11, 2007

things to do when your down;

3) look at old record sleeves...

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

tears behind sunglasses
give a dam.
is it really right for girls to get this strong?
(my friend says yes she says look at history)
wearing my weapons on the outside a belt of bullets
fear.

a hill and then its flat and then a ditch
i walk dont ride my bike now since i got hit

why do i always dream you've left me why do i dream i cant get home i wake up aching

i'll fold my arms
a silent child
and wait

fiercely angry but
you say you are who you say you are
so i will wait

rain; a beautiful inconvenience

i have some pictures on my camera but uploading them now would involve moving the batteries from my gameboy back to my camera and that would involve going back to my room which would involve braving the rain trying not to slip over getting wet so stuff it.
so i shall have a rant instead.

i didnt sleep last night hardly at all i dont know why we watched notes on a scandal before bed, judy dench is amazing. i wake up at 5 but i think it is 2 and i wonder why the morning birds are out. watch a movie in my bed then there is a power cut i sit alone in the dark with my bowl of cereal.
i think about what i am going to do when and how and what if? and i get anxiety and i have to fight it.
i pray. ish. one of the watered down prayers that lack faith.
i pray for faith and i wait and i breathe and i dont dont dont want anxiety.
it starts to rain it comes down hard and loud.
a crack and then a crumble of thunder, layers of sound.
i try and read hemingway cos i want to appreciate hemingway cos i know hemingway is good but i dont follow it and i am bored.
get up run through rain slide in thongs squeal.
lights and people...
ah ha!