make art or die

camping out

2010-09-12T16:08:00.000-07:00

SUNDAY
I am sooo tired. camping takes soo much out of you cos your constantly getting wood. if you want a cup of tea-thats one hour. my friend drove out and joined me on the saturday nite which was good for the company but...she didnt understand roughing it at all.she bought a mattress and a cleo magazine..lol.. so we had to cook practically a 3 course dinner(baked potato's done in the coals, fish and potato mash with roasted garlic, lentil soup)....which was a lot of effort. and she got scared at night and cold etc. but i knew once we reached the morning she would see the beauty of it and understand. i got up at 5.30 and cranked a massive fire for warmth and cooked bacon and eggs. seriously, i dont know whether its because she bought an expensive pan or what but that was the BEST b&e i have ever eaten. and she agreed. and then she was happy. its hard keeping ppl happy sometimes...hence why i like to be alone down there.(plus i got pissed at her cos she made a quick video on her phone and said "look this is suzi's swamp".

Later we decided to drive into town and go to church. it was this really little church with wooden benches and the man i spoke to afterward said it was 109 years old. we sang hymns, which was fun and i was allowed to keep a hymn book cos the poetry is so beautiful. its like taking a valium, reading those hymns. My friend loved them as her mum sang them to her as a child. We were sitting up the back and this lady comes up and goes "i can smell smoke, like someones burning a fire" and then she realized the smell was coming from me..haha...they had to leave the doors open cos the smell was so strong LOL!

We then went and had coffee and read the tragedies in the newspapers and talked about how much we hated the taliban and how sad the situation in north Korea is etc...then we talked about our own small sagas.
everyone's life, if you compacted it, and made a few tweaks, is a really good book. Each person is like a city in themselves, which is why you should always be careful what you tell people because you never know what they are going to build out of it.
I always think about the first line in "the catcher in the rye". he says "you should never tell anybody anything cos you'll always end up missing them" but i think i would have changed that line. you don't always miss them. you shouldn't tell people things because people change, the person you are telling your secret to now, is not the same person in twenty years. They are older, and different but still have your secret.

We then visited my friend Franzi who owns a hippy shop appropriately called "the earth circle". She's from Switzerland and is very down to earth. I sell a lot of my hand bound books and art and jewellery there. Liz bought a pair of earrings which i had made and a bar of soap. We had used it down at the camp and it is the best in the world. I've never come across a better hand made soap. it really lathers. most soaps dont lather. i hate that. Franzi then explained to me how to make a tee pee and told me that i was crazy to try to be living down by the river. Her of all people i would have expected to understand. I told her i bet that she'd done it and she said she had, and that was that.She has had some incredible life experiences and hers indeed would make a good book i would love to read.

we went walking and i found a gold top!!!!!!!!!!!(a very good magic mushroom) why hadn't i thought to look for them before cos they always come out after the rain. anyway i wrapped it up in tissue paper and put it in my pack and when i got home i remembered it and couldn't find it anywhere. bummed. my friend could possibly have taken it and thrown it away as she wouldn't want me to have it for fear of me losing my brain cells forever. at least i know where they are now anyway.It was a gold top! i have never found one before! was so pleased.
I saw a bong up stream to, and i looked down at it and then jumped back in fright cos there was a huge dead cows head near it with the body disintegrated. didn't smell though. but imagine smoking a cone and u look up stoned to see a big dead cows head up the hill a metre away hahaha..

art books

2010-08-05T14:30:00.000-07:00

Hey all am still selling my art and books in the shops but if you want a custom one made just email me what you want and i can post out, using paypal. email me on susanhardy83@hotmail.com

new books

2010-07-04T02:10:00.000-07:00

handmade dreadlocks-crotchet hook

2010-02-08T18:06:00.000-08:00

I learnt about 5 years ago in India to make dreads and have been doing it ever since along with making my books. I do maintenance and can fix anything. call me for a free quote. 0410833412

new stuff

2010-02-07T22:49:00.000-08:00

selling at the earth circle in dayboro

new books

2010-01-30T16:53:00.001-08:00

books now selling in dayboro!

2010-01-28T03:46:00.000-08:00

you can now also buy my books and jewellery etc at "the earth circle" on williams street in dayboro. its a gorgeous little hippy shop that a swiss artist has transformed from her studio. she makes amazing things that really inspire me and the shop backs on to a creek so the huge outer area has a nimbin feel about it. am glad to be making friends in dayboro especially with true artists. we are going to start having chai tea nights with local musicians etc and big pots of tea and soup. lovely...

love this

2010-01-23T10:38:00.001-08:00

i'm still here

2010-01-23T10:30:00.000-08:00

thanks to all who keep buying my books, will soon b back at west end markets mid-year. hopefully many ppl were loving them up at woodford folk fest. i didnt go. i went to sunset sounds and enjoyed really nothing cept the temper trap and kaki king. then i had 5 days camping by the ocean which was awesome. the ocean feels like home from the year i spent as a kid living on fraser. i love it so much it kills me. am still making books, and have started doing personal ones so you can always email me on susanhardy83@hotmail and let me know what u want etc.
sorry no pics yet
xox

"the only thing that doesnt change is that everything changes."

2009-10-27T20:02:00.000-07:00

Thanks to all who are buying my books from gooble warming or the shire. Am in transit at the moment as i'm moving out of my shared cottage in west end. if it wasnt for the inhabitants of the said cottage i and my cat would still be there. Is ok as i am out in the country at my mums estate and still making books. now that i have a sewing machine you can expect radder covers etc.
going through a time of introspection, anger, grief. the tat on my wrist that says "its ok" is still there because it is even though it really doesnt feel that way. its my birthday today and i'm 26. i found a birds nest in one of the short fruit trees. the last time i was out it was just eggs, but this time there are 3 little heads huddled together inside. they made it through the storm and rain of the other night and i suspect their mother sat on them and took the wind and cold herself. later i saw her, a willy wagtail, picking up bugs or whatever off the road to feed them. am glad to have my camera both times to catch the progression. am still very much in love with birds.

visited the dayboro art gallery-good but sad to see how desolate it is. we walked home barely missing the rain. think it will be heavy tonite, hope the willy wagtails make it through.

books now selling at the shire tea house, west end

2009-06-10T15:51:00.000-07:00

new stuff

2009-05-25T14:47:00.000-07:00

2009-05-03T20:27:00.000-07:00

a simple photoshop thing i did that i like

2009-05-03T03:07:00.000-07:00

dreads

2009-05-01T23:38:00.001-07:00

no markets for a while!

2009-03-24T01:21:00.000-07:00

to all my beloved book buyers, i am now selling them at gooble warming on vulture st, west end. so go pick one up. they keep getting better as i'm still constantly finding stuff to inspire me.........peace

art

2009-02-11T16:02:00.002-08:00

art1

2009-02-04T18:06:00.001-08:00

art2

2009-02-04T18:03:00.000-08:00

more new art

2009-02-04T18:01:00.001-08:00

new stuff

2009-02-04T17:53:00.001-08:00

gnbhnr

2009-01-10T18:06:00.001-08:00

hey for all those trying to contact me you can on kerouac23@live.com. cool. sorry i havent been to market lately but i will be back with more even radder stuff

art

2008-12-23T15:16:00.001-08:00

what i've been up to

2008-12-14T16:10:00.000-08:00

the first photo is a terrible shot..

i havent posted in so long it must seem like i dont exist anymore. i am still making books but havent been to the markets of late cos i'm working. i work at espressohead so come in and say hi and buy one of my paintings if u like..hehe

i bought a painting the other night from the captain crusade show by caro toledo. she actually lives like a street away from me which is cool not that i will stalk her anything just look through her windows and go through her garbage. her work rocks and the piece "open season" is mine..yay..well..when i get it off lay by it will be.

i've been painting a bit myself. not heaps, more jewellery making and oh my new obsession, gardening. highgate hill is full of rad neighbours willing to give you cuttings and teach you how to garden

beckys book

2008-12-14T16:06:00.001-08:00

becky goes back to the states soon so i made her this book. her favourite joke saying "drop your shit!!" here she shows off her brand new tat which is stunning and i'm jealous

hthjj

2008-06-27T17:53:00.000-07:00

havent posted in a while cos i lost my camera cord. also busy with moving house-a big change i hate change but am excited to be living so close to the markets and theres a lot of rad stuff in west end that i wil be close to..will miss people though-community living is guaranteed security against lonliness-and you can be with people without having to go out of your way to socialize with them. i am terrible at having guests over i give them coffee etc but then i'm like err what the heck to do now? do i have to talk to you? is it ok if i draw? and then if you want to take a nap u cant say "can u leave so i can take a nap?" prina is the best person to have over-she used to just show up i would come home and she'd be hanging out in my room with her laptop and i could nap all day and she wouldnt care.
one thing about comm living-you cannot hide your weird behaviour when your depressed. if you get up at 2 in the arvo with the same underpants you've warn for 3 days people know. plus they stop you and make you have conversations with them. i usually make a beeline for the 120cm flatscreen and watch back to back episodes of malcolm in the middle on cable. gary comes in says susan your disgusting go outside or something. says susan your addicted. and then i feel even more crap. shin comes in screams "susan my susan!!!" (she is korean need i say any more and i adore her) she says please can we watch dogs with jobs?" i hate that show. every new dog that comes on she says oohhh look at that doggie oh i love that doggie. i make her watch wife swap and cops and jail. i drink too much coffee and i get inspired and i make books and then i go and sniff out what justins doing, hover around him make him uncomfortable. make make make books i wonder if one day my inspiration will just run out but it hasnt yet.

books

2008-06-27T17:34:00.000-07:00

the weekend

2008-04-07T15:06:00.001-07:00

to market on saturday to get me some cash

my friend corrissa's sock monsters. rad.

and then to my mums house in dayboro. the girls had planned to go to sunny coast and i had planned to stay home and snooze..("the bed is the grave man") they woke me calling through my window and i was immediately suspicious..i thought they were going to arrest me and take me to the stupid coast but really it was cos everyo ne wanted to go to my mums. we sat on the steps and commiserated that we had no way of getting there.

a few hours later, a few coffees later, a lot of reassuring them, the 4 of us are at ferny grove with a sign that says "to dayboro" sunny added a love heart on it and the word please?..

we got picked up only as far as samford so we got pies and then walked out of samford a bit and put the sign up again. this time it took longer and dark clouds were forming and the girls were stressing... i said god please can u get us a lift before it rains? a guy picked us up and just as we closed the doors it started pouring hard. he said good timing. yeah. he was wearing sunglasses the whole time and listening to incubus and drumming his hands on the steering wheel. soon he says, he will get himself an 8 thousand dollar drum kit. he doesnt want to grow old and do nothing get old and be bored get old and drink a lot cos there is so much missing. this is one of my favourite subjects and i am in the front seat so we talk a lot on it all the way to dayboro.

he drops us off and we walk up the hill to mums house. she has a couple of acres and grows everything you can imagine-every herb and fruit and veg. i love it when my friends meet my mum cos they love her and she inspires them even if she doesnt realize it. she works incredibly hard and is humble and i love her.

her partner david beleives in aliens and we have had our share of arguments he has a billion finches up in an avery and when we see him he is sitting outside his avery. he wants to extend it make it really big so he can sit inside it and drink a glass of red with his birds flying around him.

cool. he's a bunnings man. every weekend david goes to bunnings.

we raid my mums garden and fridge- baby tomatoes basil salami cheeses avo eggplant crackers and we cart it all up to the treehouse. i drink too much accidentally. the end.

2008-04-03T18:20:00.000-07:00

i love this book. i wish i wrote enough to keep it and a lot of others

i made it while watching "operation petticoat" on the weekends proby tries to get everyone to watch old black and whites. most of them are good. this one sucked.

books. these are thicker and have a new binding methos so they open flat. for all the europeans who are crazy about books that open really neat , like jonas.

to market

2008-04-03T18:10:00.000-07:00

love these people. they make market day fun. the more times i go the more people want to come with me cos we have such a good time. proby quotes, philosophises, and tries out his pick up lines on us. market day would suck without him. becky is beautiful and i'm going to miss her when she goes to india

books. these are all sold now. and they all have a story. who owns them? is it you? comment me or email cos i wanna get to know you and how your book is

books

2008-02-22T16:52:00.000-08:00

sold this one yesterday

made from record cover

play that funky music loud

2008-02-22T16:27:00.000-08:00

i made these in wayno's shed with the bench grinder. i made matching journals with the record covers. email me if you want a pair made

today i made a shirt

2008-02-19T23:21:00.000-08:00

2008-02-10T22:39:00.000-08:00

becky jumped on me when i was laughing and had a full bladder.....

sunny ate a lot of maccas..

and then we went home

2008-02-10T22:33:00.000-08:00

exactly a year ago yesterday justus jumped from this spot. he got caught in a rip, dislocated his arm and was swept up onto the rorks where he spent the night in a cave. we thought he was dead and it made it on the news.

stalking people at the petrol station

2008-02-10T22:03:00.001-08:00

2008-02-10T19:22:00.000-08:00

justus

i kept pulling his hair and punching him in the arm

2008-02-10T19:18:00.000-08:00

i got home late and wrote this. in the morning i got up anyway and went.

2008-02-10T19:15:00.001-08:00

shot from the bus window. i take pictures of other people and remark loudly to my friends that i am from melbourne and brisbane people look so different

2008-02-10T19:11:00.000-08:00

a movie at southbank-i take photos of the other movie goers with the flash on they dont seem to mind too much in as much that i didnt get punched. walked to west end for coffee sunny reads an article about people being in love and gives examples of couples and includes pictures of them kissing. see some street scrawling, climb on a bus and go home

at the movies

2008-02-10T19:04:00.000-08:00

2008-02-10T19:02:00.000-08:00

2008-02-10T18:34:00.000-08:00

2008-02-10T18:26:00.000-08:00

josh from wyoming. he has the heart of a cowboy and is good at pool and writing film scripts. wants to marry a cow girl also from wyoming.

steve from florida likes playing accoustic verions of pop songs and does it really well. eg "hey ya"

becky from pennsylvania (not the bad part) did you know there is a beverly hills there but its really like bad? her friends have been jumped though walking home from her house

justin fom chilliwack, canada. he loves canada, and his parents. he plays guitar for hours on end and gets lost in it sometimes i have to remind him to eat

2008-02-10T17:05:00.000-08:00

-do you know her heart? do you know her whole heart?

-no

-so shut up

justin gets dreadlocks

2008-02-10T16:22:00.000-08:00

friday night. it took me only 6 hours and i used a 0.75 crotchet hook while watching kid nation and bridget jones. my hands hurt. becky helped. justin sat still but i think he found it hard cos he just wanted to watcht he teev.

jonas speaks his mind in the office

2008-02-08T17:46:00.001-08:00

jonas:just because i say someone is pretty doesnt mean i'm in love with her. you dont have to always vidicate youself, always have the need for vindication. just leave it for other people so they can figure it out erm jesus never vindicated himself. so suck on that will ya (makes sucking noises) thats a sweet lollipop. just becos u say a girl is beautiful doesnt mean you love her
me: you said that already
jonas: well people need to get over it. that was a lot of writing for that sentence.
sometimes you need to stop implicating. implicating is complicating.
if you think about not sinning all the time your gonna sin. i think.
becky: if your driving and theres a pothole and your focusing on not hitting it you'll hit it. you have to look at where your going
jonas: i gotta go mate, go to brookside get some milk and a smoothie. what are you doing why are you writing this? what is erm? it should be with a h. my words are good! my words are good.

(the door is opened and justin enters)
me: what are you doing back?

justin: my bike broke on the way home. the gears broke.

jonas: hey does one of these computers have speakers?

me: its ok justin we'll catch the next train or we could leave from here straight and forget your bordies.

jonas: hey i wanna play a song can i use this computer? this artist is so good. no its not coldplay it sounds like it, hes a norwegian artist

justin: jonas can you fix my bike?

2008-02-08T17:43:00.001-08:00

more books

2008-02-08T17:23:00.000-08:00

this is a little notebook i made from a page out of an old photo album i found in curbside collect. the photo was taken in france and has french writing on the back. it is 5$.

made from tchaikovsky record cover and bound japanese style with twine. pages are tea stained.
it is 15$

made from old golden book. i remember reading this as a kid. its a bit thicker than the others and bound with the electrical cord from my old fairy lights. $20

more books

2008-02-07T16:15:00.000-08:00

ah finally some pictures of my new books. this last one i made from my spine xray. processing a fight i had with a friend and the sadness i feel about always being the one to say i am sorry. my friend josh says you gotta be the bigger man but i always am.
so say your sorry and give me back my shirt

2008-02-07T02:29:00.000-08:00

"one time at school me and my friend android started a club called the ugly club. we went up to the popular people and asked if they wanted to join our ugly club and they were like what? and we'd say you cant anyway cos your too good looking"- justin

"sometimes you just gotta put in the hard yards and god does the rest"-mick on the phone

its been a long day. i worked on a project for the digital film school and then we celebrated chinese new year with a nice meal and green tea and a mangoe desert thing. we sit on the stairs and quote loudly from school of rock; you are a fat loser and you have body odour. during the meal i dare myself to put the red paper lantern in the dumpling soup. nobody else agrees it is a good idea. when i take it out of the soup it looks like it has vomit on it and this is funny cos becky vommitted the other night and so i put it in front of her. extra hyper this arvo i dont even know why. am thinking about liz a lot, havent spoken to her in so long and miss her. we're both stubborn and she has my best top.

finally some sun for the first time in weeks and a new camera. a canon poweshot tx1. nice but very hard to get my head around the thousand options. was inspired by john trippes photo blogs on fecal face and i think he uses a cannon.

tomorrow i want to try to make a pin hole camera. i want to start getting more productive with my time and setting some rules:

1 no sleeping in the daytime

2 when you think of an idea, do it straight away

3 draw more

4 take sketch book and camera with you everywhere

5 stop looking at so much of other peoples art on the net

2008-01-29T20:23:00.000-08:00

2008-01-29T20:01:00.000-08:00

i do not remember being born. i remember the colour yellow the smell of must, a sombre drab yellow like a mouldy curtain like false light like fuzz. something and then something a birthday party thrown in with 1 candle and in between all that there was a lot of television.
ballet shoes fat cheeks ernie and bert a pink barbie doona facing the wall being quiet reaching the cupboards a persian cat. panadol crushed up with honey on a spoon, sleeping on the floor with a fever

my father my real father my blood with red hair sitting on the pink leather chair gave me a watch.
he didnt feel like my father i didnt want to hug him cos i didnt know him.
his crumpled red face. shaking hands, old sad eyes.

fraser island . the best days of my life.
road trips. my brothers being funny pretending to make documentaries with microphones singing songs we've hit the beach now and then into the open being hit with the dazzling blue blue blue and yellow and you are so sure that life is going to be wonderful. sand bumps, hitting the roof with your head saying weeeee.
yidney rocks the bypass the look out seat nanna's worming bags hanging up full of fish heads made from fruit bags. the fridge running on blue kerosene, making jelly by the window, copper taps, the taste of the water, lighting a fire to heat it up washing your clothes in the bath scaling fish eating coconuts. the smell of mum cooking pippies in red wine.
bunk beds trixie belden books readers digest
the path down to the ocean full of overgrown vines, damp mud, getting buckets of fresh sea water for the pippies, running so fast because i was afraid of snakes.

its amazing how memories trigger off every sense.

stuff i made

2008-01-23T20:48:00.000-08:00

when i can, i am

2008-01-22T19:03:00.000-08:00

stayed up really late last night with sunny cos she had to catch a bus to roma this morning and she wanted to be able to sleep on it cos it would be boring. went up to the cemetary, on the way back found some old wood drawers from curbside collect to use for displaying my journals. becky hung with us as well at first i thought she hated me but i realize now its just her. she is able to keep her face straight all the time and always has this cool distant look. but she doesnt mean it. i realize you can read someones heart by their face.

we get home and the boys are trying on each others tight jeans and steve is sewing on the floor. he dresses very punk yet wears boating shoes. i comment on this and he says "they ARE boating shoes" i said "your not a sailor" he firmly corrected me, giving me a business card with his parents sailboat on it. then he showed us his batman costume he had got from a homeless shelter he worked at. i bought the tights off him for 5$ becos i really loved them and i had 5$ in my pocket. they are black with yellow tassels on the knees. not sure where i will wear them but whatever. watched some movies went to bed around 2. had anxiety because i had watched too many movies. made me feel crap and i wonder if its possible to put too much stuff in your brain maybe it will cause you to lose something important.

i had awful freaking dreams. which has been a regular occurance the last few weeks. the one from the night before was that i had to go to prison/mental ward for 3 months and i was really scared cos people kept trying to rape me and steal my stuff. nightmares man. i wake up and feel rotten until lunch time. the strongest coffee in the universe does not lift that crap man.

went to the airport with chris this morning to pick up his brother. i had nothing else to do and felt like going for a drive. didnt realize we had to go in the beast which is this big dirty cranking rattling truck that i never feel safe in and chris driving scares me to. i wished i had not of gone but it was still good listening to their conversation and observing their relationship. chris brother is a coffee roaster in new zealand and hes obsessed with coffee. thats all he talked about the whole way. how he had bought a barrista machine and made money at a housewarming party selling cups of coffee. he has bought 3.5 kgs of coffee. huh! its awesome

spent the rest of the morning making stuff on gimp. i am in the new office now so its fun to be alone in the air con with justin at his desk playing electric guitar with the head phones on.

yesterday i farted and when someone came in i blamed justin cos he couldnt hear me.

ah ha ha justin

2008-01-03T17:41:00.000-08:00

justins hilarious. i love stealing his facebook photos and playing around with them. (the zine will be full of justin) he's just random and not self aware. the best people in the world are those who are not self aware...

its been a while

2008-01-03T17:20:00.000-08:00

i havent posted anything in ages which is bad i know, i gave my camera away (stupid, stupid) so now i cant take photos and man there is so much i want to put up here. some new street art/scrawling i did, some new painings and books i have made and other random findings. that was seriously the dumbest thing i have done this year. do not give away your camera!

lately i have been working on the zine and surfing the net and watching stuff on you tube and reading shogun. its a book about pirates and samarais and old school feudal wars japan portugal priests and daimyos and taikos..really interesting stuff. for samarais it was an honour for them to commit seppuku (suicide) and if they were badly hurt in battle or if they let down their leader or failed a task they would do that. but they would first have to ask permission from their daimyo. and they'd do it over nothing man. they are always like; "permission to commit seppuku?" and the daimyo would be like "no". crazy stuff man. i love it.

christmas was great. best weather we have had in 8 years. in that there was no sun but we werent stewing in our own sweat. my mums sort of settling down heaps more now and getting even more the home maker so the house is stunning. it out in the country where the air is cleaner and there is more space. so its nice. pancake champagne breakfast. mangoes. good presents. an art book from my sister of the 20th century artists.

hope to be back at the markets soon, dont have a great deal of books but they are getting better and better. have started making earrings out of old records. managed to save myself a pair before they all sold. i ripped myself off cos they were worth so much more but all my friends are broke and its important to me that they are stylin...lol
will post pics soon, pray i get a new camera huh?

ginger rogers fred astaire

2007-12-07T18:24:00.000-08:00

real beauty

2007-12-07T18:06:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dASVYhUCYMM

a really fun night. i love these guys

2007-11-21T16:43:00.000-08:00

we found a couch on curbside collect and chris wanted it for his house. and i was wondering where he would put it ini his house cos its narrow and small and already there is hardly enough room for people. we took it home but it gave me an idea. so the next night i threw a birthday party for chris at his house and i bought my camera. after everyone had left (it was a squash man) we took the couch back to the streets and got some pictures.

my favourite part of the night was having the servo guy yell at us from behind the glass. we got the message even though we couldnt hear him; GET OUT YOU DRUNKS! except we were totally sober. in fact we had spent the first part of the night playing charades. why do p[eople expect the worst man?

books

2007-11-15T16:34:00.001-08:00

lately i've been selling a tonne of books which is good but its hard becos i dont want to start mass producing. ken helsor says if you start focussing on profit you will comprimise on creativity.

stuff i made on gimp

2007-10-29T23:59:00.000-07:00

first books i ever made

2007-10-23T03:20:00.000-07:00

yeah i should go back to painting on them

to the markets!

2007-10-23T01:52:00.000-07:00

its a good feeling when people like the art you do..its weird..all the time i have spent and so much of myself goes into each book and then its written in and cherished by another person...arrgh it makes my toes curl with the glee of it

to the markets!

2007-10-23T01:48:00.001-07:00

getting upat 3 am is hard but 3 of my friends came along to help which made a really fun experience..i love them and i had such a good day

julia buys a book

2007-10-23T01:46:00.000-07:00

last night

2007-10-18T14:52:00.001-07:00

i am depressed but you come over and spend the afternoon with me reading aloud your journal to me running downstairs for cups of tea and plungers of coffee "ready steady cook" on the t.v on mute.
its been a running joke now that if your watching that program if you catch yourself saying "ready steady cook" if you find comfort in peter everett you really are depressed and you need to call someone and tell them
we plan the weekend glorious plans-you bring the lights and i'll bring the chairs and we'll eat out of tins for all we care it doesnt matter when your beside the ocean and with friends
i want to move there i want to run away do something wild and stupid but
it takes too much planning and
i hate goodbyes
we go to woolworths because you are hungry and there is a fierce wind out and i'm still scared of cars since being hit by one so i look left and right and left and right again too many times with my heart beating too fast
but we make it back home no worries decide to go to the musical that you keep raving on about the best of broadway you have seen it twice already and want to go again want to go again..
the huge pile of clothes on my floor is dirty i have no problems wearing them but you do. we dress up i feel crap we drive to your house you get dressed while i wait out the front and stare at your neighbours.

what a bloody brilliant thrilling musical!
how utterly captivating! i thought i would cry for the joy i felt when ten people with amazing strong voices sang together and that blonde guy singing that song what was that song from jesus christ superstar? i hardly breathed through it
i could watch that musical every night for a week.
you kept wooping loudly after every song amidst the thunder of applause, i think you would have stood up and wooped through the whole thing if you could have. funny that when nancy came with you she took photos with the flash on.
you know when something is good when you dont even think in it becos you are so captured in it.
so it was a bad day but a good night and a long sleep and some pleasant dreams (for once)..

mmmm hhmm...

2007-10-18T14:47:00.000-07:00

check it....how beautiful man..i should move to a country where the train tickets are colored..and then i could sew them together and make wall pieces

learning to use gimp

2007-10-18T14:43:00.001-07:00

i finally tackled gimp..which is a photoshop-like program that you can download for free..so much fun man...i remember i had a friend who was so organic and hippy and then he discovered how to make art on the computer and after that he went a bit nuts (hi lawrence!) and i can sympathise now cos virtual image manipulation is addictive..

next step-photoshop pro baby...................

photos

2007-10-11T17:02:00.000-07:00

my friends kitchen and (below) her kitchen window. printed on antique book pages.

playing with light. i love the shape of this shadow..

things to do when your down;

2007-10-11T16:50:00.000-07:00

3) look at old record sleeves...

2007-10-09T17:18:00.000-07:00

tears behind sunglasses
give a dam.
is it really right for girls to get this strong?
(my friend says yes she says look at history)
wearing my weapons on the outside a belt of bullets
fear.

a hill and then its flat and then a ditch
i walk dont ride my bike now since i got hit

why do i always dream you've left me why do i dream i cant get home i wake up aching

i'll fold my arms
a silent child
and wait

fiercely angry but
you say you are who you say you are
so i will wait

rain; a beautiful inconvenience

2007-10-09T17:01:00.000-07:00

i have some pictures on my camera but uploading them now would involve moving the batteries from my gameboy back to my camera and that would involve going back to my room which would involve braving the rain trying not to slip over getting wet so stuff it.
so i shall have a rant instead.

i didnt sleep last night hardly at all i dont know why we watched notes on a scandal before bed, judy dench is amazing. i wake up at 5 but i think it is 2 and i wonder why the morning birds are out. watch a movie in my bed then there is a power cut i sit alone in the dark with my bowl of cereal.
i think about what i am going to do when and how and what if? and i get anxiety and i have to fight it.
i pray. ish. one of the watered down prayers that lack faith.
i pray for faith and i wait and i breathe and i dont dont dont want anxiety.
it starts to rain it comes down hard and loud.
a crack and then a crumble of thunder, layers of sound.
i try and read hemingway cos i want to appreciate hemingway cos i know hemingway is good but i dont follow it and i am bored.
get up run through rain slide in thongs squeal.
lights and people...
ah ha!

thursday already

2007-10-03T16:19:00.000-07:00

last week i got swooped by magpies 3 times and i got hit by a car once.
i'm ok though

more books..................

2007-10-03T16:14:00.001-07:00

the one with the gun on it is one of the first ones i ever made and is still one of my favourites. i'm glad to have not sold it yet.....

handmade books

2007-10-03T16:10:00.001-07:00

handmade books

2007-10-03T16:07:00.000-07:00

a bunch of little notebooks. i made the brown one out of an old leather wallet and it is my favourite. it has a tree stamped on the front

today

2007-09-25T23:59:00.000-07:00

get up
put clothes on
find sunshine

make phone calls
meet mum
for lunch

nice cafe
sit outside
eat

home
thankyou for the flowers

2007-09-25T23:50:00.000-07:00

i sold this book yesterday to a guy from norway. i wish i could pronounce his name.

another book

2007-09-24T01:44:00.000-07:00

it says the end of a season means the beginning of a new one. and the first page says and "and i will not be afraid" made from floor vinyl and bound with wool.

today

2007-09-24T01:24:00.000-07:00

my friend prina. this is a really beautiful shot of her. she showed up randomly today which was a nice surprise. we biked over to the art studio sat on the couches talked deeply i can share my heart with her without having to hold back becos she always understands and always loves. i cry cos she speaks into the pain going on inside and she brings me clarity.i sketch. we get restless and she is hungry so we zoom down the hill on our bikes to the fish and chip shop where i took this photo. this little kid who looked about 8 was working the coffee machine. i was impressed and made a comment about it and the guy there snapped at me HES 14! yeah right..prina buys a burger i got a coffee made by an 8 year old that turns out to be really good and even has a perfect cremor...we went back to the studio i drew 3 pictures of her in pressed charcoal.

my painting

2007-09-23T18:58:00.000-07:00

house paint, spray paint, chalk on canvas.

my friend shin

2007-09-23T18:47:00.000-07:00

shins from south korea but i like tease to her and say she's from japan. she's 31 and enjoys eating korean food, playing the piano and intercessory prayer. i am currently looking for a husband for her. so far none measure up.

she is one of the most hilarious people i have met and she doesnt try to be.

she's a little bit odd. she farts often and in public but always asks you first to push her finger. one time we put barbeque tongs in her bed. one time we filled up a rubber glove and put that in her bed. she has an electric blanket even in summer. she sings all the time and says hey man and then makes a face like a lion.

the funniest thing was when she hung out the window yelling at the vanuatu men to get off the trampoline.

2007-09-22T01:00:00.000-07:00

friday late afternoon things get intense so i make some calls and pack an overnight bag. i love packing bags cos it appeals to my minimilist side. pretend i own only the bare essentials.
i go to my best friends house where her and her mum live it is small and they are getting ready for a garage sale they are having tomorrow so every room is full of boxes and books and smells like mothballs. they have a huge flatscreen t.v.
we had stopped off at woolworths and i had spent 15$ on grilled eggplant, swiss cheese avo and semi dried tomatoes. liz bought the crackers and the dip. the three of us sat amongst the boxes in the living room and shovelled the gourmet yumminess into our mouths until we were full. a roast was put on. i went through all their old books and took out the ones i wanted. bought a big rug off liz told them their stuff was way underpriced helped them change their prices. watched its me or the dog got restless smoked a cigar on the patio.
the next door neighbour yells out to lizs mum "what are ya selling" lizs mum lists some stuff off and when she says mixmaster the neighbour yells SOLD! and gives her 5$ over the fence. lizs mum comes into the house goes into the back room gets the mixmaster hands it over the fence.

woke up on a mattress in the loungeroom there is a jar beside my head it is the jar full of liz's baby teeth that are now 20 years old at least. i'm sure she did it on purpose. i threaten to sell them at the garage sale for 2 bucks.
we have no table so we prop a door up on two bar stools. the neighbour comes out yells "how much for the table?' we say no its not a table she goes back inside.
lizs mums friend marilyn comes over she is sweet and has just had an operation to help her lose weight. she gets out of the car her husband is driving i remember that he has severe depression. i wolf whistle at her cos she is sweet and she has lost weight and i want ther to know she is beautiful.
she is put in charge of the money. liz's mum gets more motivated the more she sells. she stalks around the garage in her black riding stirrup-like pants talking to the customers coming over to us every now and then getting change from marilyn who is in charge of the money.
a man haggles the price on the dresser she stands her ground.
we eat crossiants. liz sits on the top step tapping on her lap top she is writing a story. marilyn is on the bottom step wrapped in a blanket with a 1$ sticker on it clutching the money tin and a book on islam. i sit on the middle step drinking coffee watching people.
the neighbour comes out buys a lot of stuff yells over at us about her cats and her husbands job then goes back inside the house.
later she comes back fills her arms up with teddy bears all of them are lizs one of them liz doesnt want to part with. liz whispers "suzy i dont want to sell the brown bear" i understand. these things can be sentimental and she only put 50 cents on it.
i take the bear from the pile the lady has made and i sit on the step and hug it close. she comes to pay for her purchase looks for the bear. i say sorry i dont want o sell the bear now" she says "PLEASE!" i dont know what to do so i just drop my head down and hold the bear tight and wait. liz says susie please take it inside she's staring at you. i pretend to cry. first i just shake then i whimper then i howl a little bit. then for the heck of it i make it louder. liz says susie everyone is looking at you.
i keep my head down i dont look up and i run into the house. have a chuckle watch the snowboarding on tele. one guy did a 54m rail slide.
lizs mum sells nearly everything. she says she is making soup for lunch so i go home.
it was a good day had by all.
last time i checked liz's mum made nearly 200$ and i scored some sweet books to make into journals.......
the end.

its the start of something...

2007-09-20T20:47:00.000-07:00

some pictures of my books and a really encouraging blog about them....http://www.creativescootin.blogspot.com/

more books

2007-09-20T17:49:00.001-07:00

if you want to purchase any of my books you can email me on tristessa_8@hotmail.com. i am not on etsy or anything like that because i do not have a credit card...hehe...though i am an avid ebayer...so fun man! i just received my ray ban wayfarers in the mail this morning which made me jump up and down

more books..................

2007-09-20T17:45:00.001-07:00

this one i made out of old book pages and bound with my old fairy lights...they

lasted me so long and were very faithful so i had to put them to use...

i took the photos in the late afternoon sun and i love how they turned out

my handmade books

2007-09-20T17:37:00.000-07:00

this little red book is one of my newest. i made it out of an old "miro" book so it has some of his pictures throughout. i really love the little french writing in the front. i am running out of guitar strings to use for binding them so will have to figure out a way to get more.
i took my books to the west end market last weekend for the first time, i sold a lot and got great feedback which was really motivating.
as a kid i got in trouble for cutting stuff up=now it is a way of income!